Not content with men jacking off in small rooms, China has developed the cutting-edge technology for collecting semen samples in a controlled way: The wank machine. That's just what I'm calling it, I don't know what the official name is. You stick your dick into this space-age shaped thing, and - voila - it makes you cum. Oh, no, it's not naughty: this is a medical device, built to exacting specifications! I'm sure nobody will figure out how to make it a coin-operated machine to be found in truck stops and massage parlors. That would make too much fucking sense. Looking at the picture below, I wonder what all the knobs are for. The space-age shapes and the brushed aluminum knobs make it look like something from the liner notes of a Styx album. HOLY SHIT KID, DON'T STICK YOUR FINGER IN THERE!