Abstinence-Only = Over!

After nearly a decade of government support for abstinence-only programs, the Obama administration has cut support in the new budget. It's a rough economy, you know, can't pay for every dumbass program the government has created! Most of the $300 million sex-related budget goes to programs proven to delay sexual intercourse and promote pregnancy and disease prevention, which at least accepts the fact that a huge chunk of the population is going to lose their virginity in their teens, no matter what the President has to say about it. Don't worry, overreacting parents: your church will be more than happy to fill your kids' heads with abstinence-only teachings - it'll still work as well as it ever had.

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