Posts Tagged 'Pros'

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Johns: Not Violent!

Good news, prostitutes: you're about as safe as any woman. A new study shows that johns are no more violent than the average male population. Bad news, prostitutes: johns are just as violent as the rest of the male population, meaning a woman is not any more safe on the street than prostitutes are. "It's an outrageous study and it really works towards normalizing sexual assault," says the anti-prostitution corner, who don't seem to realize that this study shows that sexual assault is already normalized in culture - the problem of male violence against women is everywhere, not just a problem with prostitution. Oh the other hand, the study shows that nearly half the men were forced to pay extra, twenty percent were robbed, and slightly fewer were treated badly. Who's the bigger problem, anti-prostitution factions?

Why Do Men See Hookers?

You know when the article starts, "I don't get anything out of sex with prostitutes except for a bad feeling", you've gonna get an impartial view on sex work. The Guardian apparently found the most fucked-up guys to interview about why they go see prostitutes, and the original study gave guys plenty of room to self-select for men who dislike prostitution. The study also focused on finding out what the men thought about rape, child abuse, coercion, trafficking, etc., which no doubt steered the resonses of future questions. In fact, the report didn't address any positive aspects - the focus was on how to stop prostitution, not better regulation of brothels or improving the lives, business, and health of independent sex workers - where's the research on how to improve customer experience? You ask questions about a bunch of negative aspects, you're going to get a bunch of negative response. "How horrible is trafficking?" means you get one of two answers: the guy supports the position and says, "yes, it's very bad!" or the guy says, "no, trafficking isn't a problem," in which you put a mark in the column for men who don't care about the women who are prostitutes. "When did you stop beating your wife?", so to speak. It's pure manipulative propaganda, a manipulation of supposed 'scientific rigor', to reach an outcome of one result. It's too bad that a group purporting to do good for women - and I certainly hope they make headway against trafficking and abuse - would mess up their methods with shoddy work.

Local Hookers Only!

The Olympics are coming to Edmonton, and so are the hookers! Prostitution sees a boom wherever the Olympics go, but in Canada - where prostitution is somewhat-legal - Vancouver prostitutes are worried about being edged out by imported escorts. Sadly, it has been hard times for hookers in Vancouver because of the slumping construction market, but a cityful of athletes could provide that shot-in-the-arm that the prostitution industry needs. Vancouver locals say there's already plenty of hookers to satisfy the Olympics requirements, and that an influx of prostitutes will leave a lot of escorts with empty pockets. Take care, prostitutes of Canada: the Olympics won't be the gold medal you might think.

Hooker: Zloty Fine!

Being a prostitute in Poland is tough. You know, you work day in and day out, and one day the government sends you a bill for $1,000,000 back-taxes on the, ahem, thirteen million zlotys you made fucking rich guys. There's no room for an honest entrepeneur these days. Sad, really. Part of the rub is that the fistful of zlotys was earned over the past decade or so, and she was 'unemployed' at the time, so while she was a plucky small-business operator, she failed the most important step: pay your taxes and hire a good accountant. Nothing's worse than a hooker with poor actuarial support.

Male Hookers!

Why haven't there been legal male prostitutes in Nevada all these years? It appears to have been a bureaucratic limitation in disease testing, but no more: The state of Nevada has approved male testing, so brothels are now hiring guy prostitutes. The approved test is a 'urethral swab', which makes me cross my legs involuntary, but, hey, if it's your job, you've gotta go with it. So, economy got you down? Porn just not paying the way it used to? Go live in luxury, fucking other people for money - Nevada has your back, man-whores!

Free Sex In Germany!

Planning your trip to Denmark for the climate summit? Don't forget to schedule lots of time for whores! Copenhagen hookers have offered free 'services' for people attending the conference, as a big 'fuck you' after the mayor of Copenhagen warned hotels and tourists to avoid patronizing the local prostitutes. I am also very disappointed to find out that "Gropenhagen" is a pun, and not an actual place; I would totally move there and set up a naughty website.

Google Hookers!

Omigod - Google Street View actually shows Google Street Walkers! Er, maybe, maybe not - while some might actually be such a thing, more than likely these are just women dressed sexy, going to the beach, but just happening to be standing next to the road waiting to cross. But, hey, if your boss has porn blocked, at least you have something to fall back on.

Hooker For Pregnancy!

What do you do when your wife gets pregnant? Sign up for five months of hooker fucking! A Swedish prostitution sting operation caught a 39-year old man, who was trying not to fuck his pregnant wife, instead choosing to fuck Russian prostitutes. The prosecutor, after reading the man's heartfelt request for leniency, decided to help the guy out and mailed his citation to his work address so his wife wouldn't have to find out. Remember, he loves his wife very, very much, so much that he'd rather fuck a Russian whore than upset his wife's delicate condition. And let the story be printed anonymously in the paper, so every woman within a month or two of giving birth can now suspect her husband of solicitation.

Hooker Competition!

Prostitution has traditionally weathered economic downturns well, but this era has produced a worthy competitor: people hooking up via dating sites, chat, Facebook, etc. are replacing hiring a hooker as a penis-friendly pasttime. There's enough people out there willing to fuck for fun that there's fewer people willing to pay for it, and that has hookers at a disadvantage. They need a stimulus bill, don't you think: a Cash for Clunkers deal, so to speak: stop the economically damaging behavior, get people to spend some money and bouy the markets. Prostitution is a nationwide industry, too!

Cop Is Undercover Hooker!

An entrepeneurial prostitute decided to prey on her customers' worst fears: the hooker, once alone with her john, pretended to be an undercover cop, but the kind of cop that'd let off somebody for a bribe and a handshake. Far less work than her usual trade, but, well, extortion is frowned upon almost as much as prostitution, so she ended up in jail anyway.

Johns Subculture!

Police have caught on to the fact that online communities feed and support "johns" and their hobbies - and they're surprised, oh no, that soliciting prostitutes isn't an independent, solo act of a lonely, dangerous man. Let's read our history book, shall we, police? For thousands of years, if you wanted to buy sex, you went to a brothel of one sort or another, whether it's as organized as the Romans or as disorganized as a medieval pub. There was no "he's a lonely pervert wandering the streets alone" - brothels were a fucking party (in more ways than one, so to speak). Shutting down the American brothels forced prostitution to go solo and isolated (and some might argue made it more dangerous for everyone). The current bar and stripclub scene are the continuation of the "first floor of the brothel"; that it totally how guys, from ancient greeks to straightlaced victorians, like to find women and fuck 'em, and the brothel made things convenient. Look at the brothels in Nevada and Europe: the front end is a bar where everybody socializes. Guys want that cameraderie, and if they've found it online - with excellent opportunity for anonymity - more power to 'em.

Craig's No Pimp!

After pulling back on their 'adult entertainment' ads at the request of various states' attorneys general, Craigslist has been sued for being, maybe, a little more pimpy than originally thought. No so, says a judge, who has ruled that Craigslist isn't involved in prostitution, which means I can still safely connect with college girls paying for their nursing degree by escorting, with the ease and simplicity of an online classified ad website. God Bless America!

Hookers: Tax Deductible!

Tax lawyer William G. Halby just got screwed, but by the U.S. Government. In recent years, Halby spent over $100,000 on prostitutes, pornography, and other sexual experiences, and then tried to deduct it on his taxes as medical treatment. Not so fast, says the Supreme Court: no prescription, no medical treatment deduction. There's your loophole, whore aficionados: get a doctor to prescribe prostitutes as treatment for something - depression, social anxiety disorder, or as exercise to control your heart disease - and you can fuck tax-free 'till the cows come home. Make sure you do it someplace where hookers are legal, though: New York, as Halby found, doesn't let you deduct illegal activities. Also, don't be a tax lawyer, either: the courts frowned on the shenanigans, and fined Halby extra because he shoulda known better.

Bikini Coffee = Hookers!

You've been able to ogle shapely women while buying coffee in Seattle for a while, but some of these boobie baristas have run afoul of the law. Turns out, looking equals performing arts - but letting a little touching happen? That's a-whoring. Five babe-aristas were cited with prostitution by augmenting their tips by allowing a little frisky fondling, along with licking cream off each other, and actually doing some nude photo posing. Those cops spent two of the happiest months ever spying on the babes in order to gather evidence for the trial.

Hookers: Trustworthy!

In China, they've got their priorities straight: a recent poll shows that citizens find their local prostitute more believable than their politicians. I've been telling people this for a long time, but nobody believes me: for years, I've been told "you're the first client to ever make me orgasm," "that's the biggest cock I've seen", and "you're the only one to get the discounted price, because I like you so much," and now I have proof - proof! - that everything she has said is true. More true than Senator Franken, even.

Newsman = Pimp!

A sports reporter from New Hampshire has been arrested and charged with pimpin', according to MSNBC. Was this horrible person part of a ring which kidnapped poor western European women and threatened them with violence for compliance? Just listen to this tale of horror: the 50-year-old reporter allegedly "met the women at a Manchester hotel to 'audition' them. He was accused of giving one woman lingerie, having sex with her and then telling her she was hired.". That monster. And, according to the story, because he vetted customers and arranged for a safe environment, he took nearly half of their earnings, probably leaving them only around a hundred bucks an hour for their time. How did these women survive? It's a good thing the anti-pimping laws are taking cruel slavers like these off the street.

Not A Hooker!

A while back, a prostitute was booked under the alias "Linda Norris", the name of a former neighbor. Imagine the hilarity when the real Linda Norris gets involved in a routine traffic stop, and the name and address get into the computer? Linda gets booked for prostitution and sits in jail until fingerprints prove her identity. "Sorry, ma'am, the computer says you're her - only a criminal would pretend she's not the right one, and the louder you argue, the more you prove your guilt. These computers, what would we do without 'em?"

Green Whorehouse!

Caring for the environment is everybody's business, even the adult business. A brothel in Berlin (aren't all the awesomest brothels in Berlin?) has decided to go greener and give customers a discount if they bike to the establishment. When I'm done fucking, riding a bike would probably end disastrously, but I suspect one of two things: Berlinites are far better bicyclists than I, or this is a plan to keep customers around until their thighs are back in bike-riding shape.

Gym Teacher Hooker!

So, this hot gym teacher starts work as a prostitute. Business picks up, so the educator decides to make some money on the side and open a brothel. First step is to recruit his wife to help with the business. Wait, um...what? A husband and wife team have been arrested for operating a brothel, and both are cited for having sex for money. Sadly, he's now lost his job over this (which shouldn't have surprised him), but - even worse - the wife is out on bail, while he is still in custody.

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