When you hear the term "penis jewelry", you probably think of diamond-studded cockrings and fancy Pince Albert studs -- but fashion designer Tom Ford won't have any of that. Ford's penis jewelry is regular jewelry that looks like a penis. It's not even a "hey, that kinda looks like...", Ford's website even calls it a penis right in the title. At a distance it might pass for a cross, but get up close and it's pretty clearly C3P0's junk. Now that Christmas is here, at the easy-to-afford price of $790, you can get one for all the friendly women in your life!

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K-E-Dollarsign-Ha, consistently toeing the line between genuine-whako and Colbert-level satirist, has released a series of penis-themed jewelry, which has since sold out. Who's buying this penis-shaped jewelry? I'd like to think it's men -- women love sweatpants with bedazzled words like "bitch" and "juicy" on their ass, it's only fitting that men want a gold dick hanging around their neck do advertise their sexual prowess. Nymag has tips for proper accoutremation of the jewelry, in particular avoiding tiny-penis shaped suntan lines, which everyone should avoid whether wearing Ke$ha jewelry or no.

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If I had a hairy face, I imagine I'd play with it all the time: running my fingers through it, caressing it lovingly, twirling it like some mad scientist. I'd heard of moustache brushes, but I didn't really think of them as fashion until I saw this little doodad, a 'morning cup' moustache brush. I..well, um, I don't really get the whole 'cup' thing, but as a dangle on a chain it is striking. Just don't wear it if you're moustacheless. Then, the subtext is that you're volunteering to brush other people's facial hair, which is just a bit too creepy to be fashionable.via