Posts Tagged 'Iowa'

Iowa: Porn Capital!

So, you've had to leave your elected position due to drunk driving and other ethical violations, you're coming out of the closet, you lost your driver's license, you rent a shabby office above a flower shop to keep your in-state address, and now you're looking for clients. The only logical step: represent pornographers, and use your Iowa offices as the porn company's US mailing address. The florist downstairs, who also owns the building, is absolutely precious in her midwest reaction: ""Oh, Lordy," Hickle said. "I had no idea. I am not OK with this. I don't believe in pornography, and, oh, my, I just don't see Northwood as the sex capital of the world." It's too bad she doesn't believe in pornography: her flowers result in more fucking than all the porn in Bumfuck Iowa combined. Seriously, Valentines Day is all about fucking, and it's the biggest day for buying flowers for your honey. One-stop porn and flower shopping is the Business Model Of The Future, and it's too bad she doesn't believe in pornography, otherwise she's be sitting on a goldmine. She'd just have to team up with the foreign company and their drunk gay lawyer to get it done - nothing bad can come from that, you know.