Autoblow2 Reviewed!

Not too long ago, I brought you information on the Autoblow2. Brian Sloan, maker of the Autoblow2, saw my post and offered me a review sample of the new toy. How could I turn it down?

So it is said, women get such a wide variety of sex toys because there's so many different ways even an individual woman can be stimulated; what works for one doesn't work for another. While men might not have as many variances, we're not universal, either. I'm one of that significant population where I rarely get off from oral sex. That there made me wonder if the AutoBlow2 will even work for me, but I've tried masturbators before with success, so I figured AutoBlow2 will get me off anyhow.

The box contains the AutoBlow2 itself, a power supply, and a "insertion stick". The stick is to help mount the rubber sleeve into the AutoBlow2 by shoving the hard plastic bar between the AutoBlow2's lips and gently pushing in. The sleeve itself is quite thin, but the "mouth" area is thick and rubbery to prevent you from banging the hard body of the Autoblow2 against your pubic bone.

It's hard to tell, but the AutoBlow2 is big. At 4 inches across and almost nine inches tall, it's tough to get even my big hands around. Not that it's necessary; the box says "hands free," which is only somewhat true. The speed control is located on the bottom, and it positioned well enough that if you have your hand on the Autoblow2 to balance it, a thumb or finger can run the speed control without extra contortions. The speed-control dial ranges from "slight stroke" to "liquify". The higher speeds aren't injurious nor painful, but it made me a bit nervous when I first ran it up to 11 to see how fast it would go.

To prove that this isn't some lame "I fucked a robot" review that's too prim and proper to actually talk about fucking a robot, here's proof, beerbelly and all, that I lubed up and fucked this machine:

Lube is necessary. Not just for insertion, because the sleeve slides slightly as the mechanism moves and you want to use that to your advantage rather than encouraging rug-burn. As the instructions state, the body is a one-size-fits-all, and the sleeve comes in three sizes. I'm self aware enough that I picked "average", because I didn't want wanted my Autoblow2 experience marred by an incorrectly sized sleeve. The mechanics of the Autoblow2 are pretty simple:

In the top 3/4 of the device, the rings of springs-and-beads do the stroking, while the sleeve and penis fit in the loop. The instructions also make very clear not to use without the sleeve, but I suppose there's weirdos out there who want their foreskin pinched, pulled, and torn by steel springs, just don't blame Autoblow2 if it goes horribly, horribly wrong.

First up: everyone else who has reviewed AutoBlow2 has commented on the noise. Yes, it sounds like you're running the photocopier at full bore. But, for the sake of science, Gracie offered her Hitachi Magic Wand for comparison. Both are powered by the mains, both are the Ferraris of masturbation aids, so we plugged 'em in, turned them on, and took notes.

We agreed that the Autoblow2 was louder - but only slightly. Gracie's impression was that the Hitachi's constant 'hum' was less intrusive of a sound than the Autoblow2's repetitive-cycle noise. Neither are 'discreet' sex toys, so make sure the house is empty and put on headphones if the sound is distracting.

As I mentioned above, blowjobs don't usually bring me to fruition, so I used the Autoblow2 under two different circumstances. First, on my usual 'masturbate-every-day-or-two' schedule, and second after 'abstaining' for four days. Yes, it was difficult, but this is what I do for dear readers like you.

Anyhow, in both cases, Autoblow2 did successfully bring me to fruition, and in both cases it took about twenty minutes. That partly explains my fellatio issue: lockjaw usually sets in well before the 15-minute mark, let alone lasting to a twenty-minute cock-sucking marathon. For this reason, having a wall-powered sex toy is excellent, because nothing's worse than having to go buy batteries with blue balls.

I'm not complaining about twenty minutes, though. That's probably only a little longer than I spend looking at porn during a normal self-love event, and it wasn't annoying or unpleasant to just leave AutoBlow2 mounted, sucking away, while I browsed my favorite tube site.

Cleanup was not too difficult either. The rubber sleeve comes out easily, and the thinness allows it to be turned inside-out and washed thoroughly. Sadly, I did immediately lose the 'insertion stick', but it's not 100% necessary for proper installation. About my only concern about construction is the lack of a cover for storage - the top seemed to be ringed to accept a not-included cover, but just leaving AutoBlow2's beckoning lips exposed to the elements and visible to curious onlookers makes storage a bit difficult.

Was it enjoyable? Definitely; it's an unusual sensation, not really like oral sex or regular sex or masturbating. Reality isn't really the goal of sex toys: just look at the variety of shapes and sizes of dildos and vibrators that look nothing like a penis, and the relation of 'realism' to 'orgasms' in each. So, despite less real-world simulation, the AutoBlow2 feels good. Having control over the speed is a definite plus. Like women who own many vibrators, the AutoBlow2 another tool in the arsenal of creative orgasm-induction, so I'm sure I'll use it again.

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