You know, those safe-sex organizations give away condoms for free: you don't have to use heavy equipment to break in to their offices to steal them. I suppose, the thief was trying to avoid the embarassment, but the condoms stolen were extra large condoms - a guy like that should walk around wearing a light-up T-Shirt identifying his size-requirements for choosing condoms, and possibly have a choir of angels announce his entrances. The only embarassment this guy probably experienced was discovering just how small he really was when he tried them on. It was probably like slipping a croissant in a bag designed for french bread. (another Fark via)