I don't even know where to begin; this must be the UK's version of The Onion. Look out - satan worshippers are trying to recruit your kids! And by satan-worshippers, they mean Crowley's O.T.O., which has nothing to do with the Devil, but they had a sexy picture of Peaches Geldorf so that must be it. Strangely, they take the word of a "white witch" that satanists are trying to steal your children, which is a weird authority on Satan. Kabbalists are a better authority on Satan than pagans are, really, so Madonna should have been their go-to expert on the Devil. But - FEAR! MORTALS! - you gotta make sure people are terrified, and nothing's more terrifying than the attention-starved child of a famous musician joining a trendy religious organization.

Pic via.

Peaches Geldorf has brought us word that Aleister Crowley is back, baby! Her and Jay-Z, apparently are open followers of the O.T.O, or the occult religion Crowley invented in the early 20th century. This is the stuff read by those weird kids in high school who did Tarot cards at lunch and wore ankhs everywhere, and they had a lot of sex but otherwise forgot all about the occult once they had to, you know, get jobs. Somebody's been keeping the torch alive, though, otherwise we'd be stuck with Scientology and Kaballah as the only weird shit that famous people devote themselves to. It's about time Crowley made a comeback.

Via.