Well, here we are again: one month after the one day of the year your girl is guaranteed all the romancing she wants, the boy gets all the romancing he wants on Steak and a BJ Day. Because, I mean, guys, on Valentine's Day you had to suffer the indignation of eating at a nice restaurant with your lover, then went back and fucked in your bedroom -- don't you deserve more? Like Valentine's Day, Steak and a BJ Day is lusted over by the single members of your gender because the feel they deserve to be showered with the selfish parts of the holiday. Those in relationships who properly celebrate the day are doing so out of their own mutual enjoyment. So, single people: stop fetishising a single day of the year because you feel you deserve something people lavishly write about on the internet. Everyone in relationships: if you're longing for one day a year to experience romance and sex, you're fucking wrong. Steaks and blowjobs come to those who deserve them, not because Google Calendar dinged on your phone. Today's holiday, like Valentine's Day, is merely here to remind you what you should be doing the rest of the year to show your fondness for the opposite sex, not the other way around.

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