Statisticians, is there nothing your grubby hands can make more empirical? According to SCIENCE! the perfect breast has been determined, based on Page 3 Girls' most-favorited boobs. I mean, come on, BOOBS, but the most interesting feature is that the nipple is supposed to point up by 45 degrees. I'm not completely sure I've ever seen an upturned nipple, and that may just be testament to the amount of substandard breasts I've encountered. No, that's not possible: there's not such thing as encountering a substandard boob. Every boob is a significant improvement over no boob. Unless you're really doing it wrong. But, even then...boobs. However, this is all about empiricism, so the only way I can truly know is to experience as many breasts as possible. I'll get right on that; I already have my clipboard ready.