WOOHOO - May is National Masturbation Month! It harkens back to the fateful moment when Surgeon General Elders made it sound like masturbation was OK, and was thus encouraged to resign. Stupid conservative fucks. We all know, as Elders does, that masturbation totally fucking rocks and doesn't seriously mess anything up. So go for it, masturbating masses, it's now your time to stand up and be counted as somebody who diddles themselves and enjoys the fuck out of it. Excelsior!