Sex Is Keeping You Alive!

I can't fucking watch TV without some commercial telling me that I need to take their medication otherwise I'm going to die a painful death. You know what else helps prevent a painful death? FUCKING. According to recent studies, sexual intercourse improves blood pressure, reduces heart disease, improves mood, expands vocabulary, alters the fabric of space and time, gives people the power of telepathy, and ensures prompt service at Burger King. I didn't read the whole article, I'm just making assumptions on some of those things. Still, for all the "sex kills, use a condom", keep in mind: having sex isn't just dodging a bullet, it's good for you, god damn it.

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