The hat says, "We have ways of making you talk, tovarish - Pavel, get the battery cables!" but the tits say, "the Cold War is over, tovarish, let's get warm." I grew up in a time of Russian fear, but I can't help but want to hold her close; if the USSR had figured this out decades ago, they would have had a powerful weapon of mass distraction -- U.S. snipers would be too busy whacking off to see all those bright red hats against the white snow.

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