Hef: Engaged!

Hugh Hefner, Mr. Bachelor of the Universe, has decided to marry "Playboy Bunny" Crystal. I'm never one to begrudge a guy getting married, so my hat's off to you, Mr. Hefner. Only an asshole would make old jokes. My only worry: what happens to the Girls Next Door now? It's the only thing scheduled on my Tivo - do those things ever die of disuse? At least those dumbas twins are out of the picture: jesus christ, they need to go work at the post office for a while to get some freakin perspective about where they sit in the scheme of things. Hef, on the other hand, fights of First Amendment rights, donates a bunch of his money, always seems to be a genuinely nice guy, so if he has found a hot piece of ass that he wants to devote the rest of his life to, here's to you, Mr. Awesomest Man In The World.

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