Ohmigod - and if a researcher said it, it must be true! The Evening Standard reports that you make more money if you jump from sex monthly to sex weekly, essentially doubling your income with a four-fold increase in sexual activity. I mean, here's the solution for our economy, because if - oh, wait a god damned second. When I went from no sex to Gracie-sex, my income didn't budge - here's what's going on: Going from monthly-sex to weekly-sex makes you as happy as doubling your income. AS HAPPY AS. Fucking London reporter can't read the god damned study right, getting everybody's hopes up, I'm so depressed I think I need to go have my daily sex, which is another 7x as often as once a week, which makes me practically a fucking millionare.