Sex: Completely Unknown!

The human race is still completely in the dark ages: nobody knows what sex is. Records indicate that thousands of years have passed since any human has experienced sex, and even that is believed to be an accident. Even going to the dictionary definition of sex is no help, because its vague, inspecific definition means nobody could possibly be doing something that fully fits that bill. Come on, now, CBS: bending the definition is a time-honored condition of being an dick - you weren't speeding, you were only going 5 over; you weren't bribed, they just hired you as a consultant; you weren't having an affair, the tranny blowjobs just happened; and so on and so forth. When having sex is a bad thing, the abstinence-only kids have anal and nonpenetrative...petting?...that still spreads disease, Republicans can stand behind family values because, hey, their line-crossing doesn't cross lines because the definition is different for them, and Good Christians can still have abortions because, by definition, they're a Good Christian, it's those whores who are going to hell. It's nice that a guy writing behind an alias can be all high-and-fucking-mighty about honesty and truth, but nobody said I'm not one of those rule-bending dicks. Problem is, when you're called on your definition-bending dickery, don't push yourself into assholedom by denying it.

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