Vicious kangaroos are stalking the Australian suburbs, knocking old women down and savaging them -- who will save them? Cuddles, the Kangaroo-Attacking Guard Dog. Cuddles, however, will meet his match when he runs into the Koala Who Was Kit By A Car and Smashed Through the Grill But Is Doing Fine, a/k/a Doctor Babyraper.Wonder why the bar's DJ is so damn loud? To get your ass drunk. No, it's not an excuse to sniff a gal's hair while you're speaking so close to her ear to be heard. Or so I've been told.For the immature dudes viewing this site: foods whose names sound like sex acts.Employees with huge tits? Don't complain; they'll sue your ass.Ashley Dupre was a dental hygenist before sleeping with the New York Gov--oh, wait, that's a different one. Dental Dupre is suing the escort one for 'identity theft'.Bad grouper can have a poison that makes you sick as hell, but makes you feel hot things as cold, and cold things as hot. Didn't KY Jelly market that recently?Obvious: Don't call the judge an asshole. More obvious: when the judge asks, "what?" in disbelief, don't say it again.