Best Time For Sex!

Science has been putting out a lot of information on the best times of day to have sex, what with circadian rhythms and all that. Is it possible you're fucking at the wrong time, and that's the reason for all the problems in your live? You never know -- here's what science says:

Fuck in the Morning!

Getting those endorphins flowing is better for starting your day than a cup of coffee, so this study says to fuck when you get up in the morning. Plus, you're already in bed together, and I assume you've both got to get up, so why not take advantage of the timing and just go to town, shower, eat a nice breakfast, and get on with your day!

A While After You Wake Up!

No, wait...don't fuck right away in the morning, give it about an hour for your systems to get up to speed, and maybe brush your teeth first?

Noon Sex!

Sweden thinks nooners are so important for employee morale that they're willing to pay people to fuck over their lunch hour. I can't argue with that logic; a lot of people do get a whole hour for lunch, and after the fifteen minutes of eating, what else is there to do? Have a quickie on the dining room table and get back to work happier than ever!

Fuck In The Afternoon!

This study shows that hormone levels are best about 3pm, so a little Afternoon Delight is in order to keep your sexual juices flowing. I know, a lot of you are like, "I'm at work, how is that gonna happen?" Well, most businesses give a 15-minute break about that time, so maybe your best bet is to find a willing and available coworker and cross it off both of your to-do lists.

Fuck After The Gym!

OK, maybe 3pm is too exact - but when you just get home from the gym - all endorphinified, blood flowing, sweaty (maybe shower first) is the best time to track down your lover and extend your workout for a few minutes.

Fuck Before Dinner!

You never want to do anything energetic with a full stomach, so maybe fuck before you have dinner, otherwise you might end up a lump on the couch without any means for actually getting into a lovemaking mode without triggering heartburn.

Fuck Before Bed!

Sex right when you go to bed has been shown to improve sleep, which is key to starting the next day off right. And, like morning sex, you two are already in bed so why not make it a little fun!

Whenever the fuck you want to!

This survey actually asked people when they fuck (crazy, I know, right?) and the responses show that it's pretty much when you're most likely to find sexual partners in bed together and nothing pending on the docket. Weekday nights and weekend mornings? Crazy!

The common connection between all of these is that people have sex when their partner is available and ready to go, so make that your goal: don't set a reminder or an alarm clock for the "scientifically-determined best time" according to articles: the best time is whenever your lover is in arm's reach and you've got a few minutes of private time to spend with them.

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