I'm sure you're about to head out the door to drive a couple hours to Grandma's house and see the family. Remind yourself: there's a reason you moved to an inaccessible-but-not-distant town - family sucks. I mean, it doesn't suck as much as someone running over your cat or being paralyzed but completely aware but nobody knows it or getting kicked in the balls, and family is good as long as nobody upsets the apple cart. If you absolutely, positively, must upset the apple cart, Guyism has the tips to get it done quickly and easily. Not that it's too hard to begin with, but efficiency is the way to get yourself home in time to watch football without Screamy Uncle Matt rooting for the wrong team.