Penis Size Tool!

Measuring one's penis is a difficult task - you're always tempted to include more, like measuring from your asshole to the tip of your dick ("It's 22 inches, really!"), but condom maker TheyFit has decided, fuck you assholes and your messed-up measuring skills, here's a condom ruler. I totally love the fact that the increments are out of logical order - no trying to tell your ladyfriend you're a "J" and having her believe that's much bigger than an "B". They measure circumference, too, which should finally put to bed that "as big around as a Coke can" nonsense. Here's the to-scale printable version - and don't think I don't know you guys can use Photoshop and subtly shrink the image to make your dick look bigger, like those 4-foot-tall women they use in 'giant dick' movies. One last note: I love the creepy Kricfalusiesque dick wizard in the background. He can totally measure my dick anytime he wants.

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