So, a nine-year-old visits his mom at her fire-station job, goes to the bathroom, and finds porn. Of course he's going to steal it and take it home, hiding it under his bed. And, of course, mom freaks the fuck out, ending up discovering five dozen more pornographic magazines at the fire station. Because, y'know, the world is in danger if some child is going to wander by and steal the firemen's porn. The fire department has offered $200,000 to settle her lawsuit - wait, her kid steals something that's not appropriate for him to have while visiting a non-kid-friendly place, and the fire department is out almost a quarter of a million dollars? It's a good thing fire departments are rolling in the dough, nothing important to spend their money on, and nine-year-olds can fuck it up for firemen by doing what nine-year-olds do.