Don't Listen To Cosmo!

Yeah, it should be obvious, but The Frisky has issued a customer safety warning on Cosmo's tips for improving your guy's sexual experience. Don't wank him with grapes, don't fuck up his Camaro's hood, don't try and put your legs behind your head, and for fuck's sake keep that ice away from his dick. Simply avoiding Cosmo's advice should be obvious, but back up the analysis a bit: Cosmo is porn for sexually-stunted women; just as you don't watch porn and think real sex can be done that way, don't read Cosmopolitan and think sex is really done that way. It's like Cosmo is a serialized, surrealist exploded erotic post-novel: it is the art of pornographic literature taken to its absurd extremes. And that's why I'm a subscriber.

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