Last Friday, Palo Alto, CA, has done something so many other cities with they could claim: hosted the first National Single Cougars Convention. It's hard enough to find a Cougar these days, let alone a single one (makes you wonder why they added that qualifier to the title, hm?), so it was awfully kind of somebody to put them all in one room together for twenty-somethings to paw at and eventually get a no-strings-attached cougar-fuck upstairs in her hotel room. Sorry, guys: the only way this works is because those women have a cute name, as a whole: your "thirty-something pudgy single unemployed guy" convention is actually called "I hate that bar, it's full of assholes" by the general public.