Be A Playboy Mansion Neighbor!

Have you always wanted to hang out in your back yard and talk with your neighbors over the fence? Now, how about if those neighbors are hot, young, nubile silicone-enhanced bleach-blondes? Hugh Hefner is selling off his private residence, next door to the Playboy Mansion, for a cool $28 million. Presumably it's because he's finally moving into the room he'd prepaid for at St. Godiva Old Folks' Managed Care Facility. He should have called about those 'reverse mortgages' that let seniors keep their home without any monthly payments! Oh, OK, no more old-people jokes; Hef gets to touch more perky breasts before breakfast than I have in my whole life, so he deserves more credit than that. The other neighbor is the LA Country Club, which probably means Hef spent most days in his back yard yelling at rich people to come get their balls off his lawn. You have no idea how hard it is to be the neighbor of both a country club and a haven for hotties.

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