Vatican: Sex Tests For Padres
As a means of further streamlining the types of personalities that can become Catholic priests, the Vatican is going to issue voluntary tests to weed out those with uncontrollable sexual urges, uncertain sexuality, or homosexual urges. So, if you're a well-rounded, positively masculine, absolutely-certain heterosexual (but not too assertive about it, or certain to the point of 'rigidity of character') who can eliminate his libido through nothing more than prayer and will, you're perfect to be a priest. Anyone else, go check with the Anglicans, they'll hire anybody.