Cracker Sex Toys!

Sometimes, it takes me a while to translate British news; they write about sex more than the US, but Google Translate doesn't work for shit. Anyhow, something called a "Christmas cracker" is given to children, and when they do something to it, things come out, usually toys and fun stuff. In one case, however, a kid popped his Christmas cracker, and got a adult toy sampler! First of all: where do I get some of these?!? I could get all my Xmas shopping done in one step. Second of all: the product did have an "adults only" sticker on it - but the shop said they'll remove any crackers without stickers from the front of the shop, leaving the adult-only crackers right where parents will pick them up for their kids. Best Christmas Ever! The other reason British news about sex is better: in the U.S., someone would have called the police, somewhere somebody would be screaming, "won't someone think of the children!" and that 4-year-old child would be on Fox News being questioned about the stuff he didn't understand to begin with, but would quickly be explained to him by all the people wishing to show just how damaged the child was by seeing condoms. Sure, somebody called the paper - wouldn't want it to happen again - but they were able to just get the fuck over themselves. Americans: get the fuck over yourselves.

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