If you thought aliens have been making crop circles, you'd be right - Australians have uncovered the source of circles in their fields. Stoned wallabies are hopping in circles, flattening crops and laying waste to poppies. This proves what I've been saying for years: wallabies are aliens. I mean, for fuck's sake, look at them! There's nothing earthly about them, or any of their Australian brethren. Spiders in Australia, also known as "the emerald isle", put the freakin' alien from Alien to shame with their destructive power. Be glad that the only thing trying to communicate with us via crop circles are the wallabies: when the deadly jellyfish start trying to talk to us, you know the only thing they have to say is, "resistance is futile."