Man, do Iowans know how to tell a story. In short: gag gift dildo abandoned on move-out, guy tries to return it but stops for car repair, realizing mechanic might think it funny to have huge dildo in car, guy goes to get cash to pay mechanic without revealing identity, BAM, buys the winning lottery ticket after stopping at gas station ATM. The Magic Lottery Dildo claims another victim. What he doesn't realize is that the curse of the Magic Lottery Dildo is that it can only be spent on hookers, or your penis falls off.